Sunday, July 10, 2011

The man who loved me the most♥

On April,
my dad diagnosed with last phase liver cancer
and
the doctor said :"No Cure"
In that moment,all of us were in shocked and broke down.
But we did not give up and find cure in chinese medic.


On May,
my dad kept on going in and out of the hospital
My dad sent to emergency room because of over bleeding
and undergoing surgery
before entered the emergency room
"dont cry,i will be right back,i will be alright"my dad said.
but,
the doctor said:"you all must well-prepared,because your dad's life is in the risk"

Fortunately , the surgery was success


On June,
My dad more suffer from pain..
and to control the pain,the doctor used Morphine in high percentage(pain reliever)
and the side effect was:
my dad started to be inconscious
 vomit
drowsiness
dizzy
weak
until he cant even talk to us..walk..eat..and drink

he started to growl in pain..we cant even know how pain was it..
but all those painess showed on his face
it was EXTREMELY pain
much more painful than you chop by anyone by knife
it is undescribable and cant quantised or measured..

since that day i been told that "your dad may pass away in anytime"

i was watching my dad getting thinner and thinner,
his tummy became much more bigger,
his lip turned blackish.

On 28th Of June,
after school.
i visited my dad in hospital..
holding his hand tight..
and talking to him..
but he has no reaction..

strike 7pm,
"my dad was no longer moving and breathing"
he had passed away..

i was watching him in the casket now...
recalling those days..
2 months before that ,
we were a happy family
joking around..
and laugh over it..

we were happy in the last second,
but happiness no longer in the next second

in the hospital
he told me "i  will be alright and i will bring all of you to a vacation soon,just after i recover.."
the promise will never come true

that time he was so insist not to leave us..

but now ,everything changes..
just within two months.
he was now no longer exist in the world..
just on that time his body was cremated..
everything has gone that way
it just left the memories between us..

I would never predict the day that i will lost my only and beloved daddy

Now,
i cant sing together with my dad
i cant grumble anything to him
i cant keep him accompany by my side
I cant hear him din into my ears
i cant see him in real anymore!
anymore!!!


"Dad,i really do miss u very much!"
"Can u hear me?"
"You know how sad am i now?"
 "I love you,dad"
 "You are the man i loved the most in the world"
"i know you love us the most also,dont u?"
"so,why are you just left us that way???"
"why dont you comply with what u have promised us??"

everything comes in a sudden
everything changes so much just within a blink of eyes..


between sad and happiness

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